Sarcastic quotes about work

Sarcastic quotes about work

Sarcastic quotes about work sayimgs status
Team work is important, it helps to put the blame on someone else.


Things I hate about work: 1. Waking up 2. Humans 3. Working.

Life's too short to wake up in a bad mood. I save mine until I get to work.

Nothing ruins a perfectly pleasant day like going to work.

The reward for good work is more work.


My boss didn't know I drank, till one day I came to work sober.

I send pointless emails late at night to impress coworkers.

I'm not the only one that drives to work hoping its a crime scene, am I?

Morning is the time when everyone is jealous of unemployed.

If you have worked and didn’t get anything, it means someone else got it.

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter...   

If Plan A doesn't work, the alphabet has 25 more letters. Keep calm

I’m going to miss having you around to blame for the quality of my work..

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

In every company there is an askhole ..a person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite.

 Funny Work Quotes


I should get an award for how I’ve managed to not punch you in the face every time I see you.

Tell your boss what you really think about him and the truth shall set you free.


is off to work again..why couldn't I have been born rich instead of good looking?

We all have someone at work we make fun of. If you don't, its you.

Work until you bank account looks like a phone number.

What’s it called when your hard work doesn’t pay off?

If you came to work late, you should at least try to leave it earlier.

Don't worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday...

Driving to work would be so much better if I didn't always end up at work.

At work, when you don't know what to do, just walk fast and look worried.

I just counted 33 things at my work that I could k*ll my boss with.:D

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Wonder what Facebook employees do to waste time at work?

I just love waking up in the middle of the night to realize I still have time to sleep before work..
    
When you don’t do it, you’re lazy. When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy.

Taking selfies is a lot of work when you’re not attractive   

I wonder what I did at work before I had and Iphone and Facebook.

Some people pride themselves on their hard work. I pride myself on doing so little and yet keeping my job

Let’s spend countless hours preparing for a meeting that will be delayed, canceled, or misrepresented.

I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back..


Some people work harder at getting the office temperature right than they do at their actual job.

Congratulations on getting promoted to the job you’re already doing.

When I'm really bored at work I like to write "I'm watching you" on the toilet paper a few squares in just to mess with people.

Some people say I'm a dreamer, others say, If you fall asleep at work again you're fired..


I think I may have misunderstood my boss when she told me that she loved seeing me hard at work.

In life, opportunities aren't handed out, they are taken.

My bed wasn't feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

says ..As long as my boss pretends I'm on a good salary, I'll pretend to be working.

An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.

Nothing ruins a Friday more than an understanding that today is Tuesday…

Hates when customers say "I am never going to shop here again!" when they don't get there way, and then you see their dumb asses in the store the next week..


Work is just something I'm doing until I win the lottery.


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Sarcastic quotes about annoying people

Sarcastic quotes about annoying people

Sarcastic quotes about annoying people
The most annoying person is one who annoys even when he is not around.

Silence is golden, especially if you know it's pissing the other person off..

What bothers me is when people don't know when to shut up.


People like you are the reason people like me need medication.

When certain people bring nothing but drama to the table.you know it's time to let them eat by themselves.

If I don't answer my phone the first time you call, calling 5 more times isn't going to make me answer.

Life would be easier if you could mark people as spam...

Once you start to dislike someone. Everything they do begins to annoy you.


Person who complains about others being annoying is just as annoying.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

No I don’t need anger management. You need to stop pissing me off.

I'm sorry for telling them that you're stupid. I didn't know it was a secret.

There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you’re busy interrupting.

I have no patience or time for people who wear their insecurities on their sleeves like badges of honor.

I like most people as long as they're not behind a steering wheel or a keyboard.

Once you learn how to close your mouth, maybe you can work on those legs.


Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention Morons.

That awkward moment when people think theyre funny but they are just annoying.

You can hate me all you want, but you don't have the right to talk Bad about me.

It's awfully funny how the ones with the most to say know the least.

Saying something funny and then someone says it louder and gets all the credit.

People become 10x more annoying when you're listening to music and they are talking..


That annoying person who texts you again if you don't reply within 18 seconds.


People who change the channel every single time there's a commercial are more annoying than the commercials.


My favorite kind of coffee is the the kind where no one talks to me while I'm drinking it.

When you see me put my earphones in, it means to stop talking, not to start.

I hate when I’m wearing headphones and someone constantly tries to talk to me.


Be thankful for all the difficult people in your life, for they have shown you exactly who you do not want to be.

Everyone has a friend who doesn’t get the hint when it’s time to go home.

I don't have a problem with those who don't like me. I have the problem with those that pretend they do.

Dont worry about me or what I do. This is my life not yours.


I don't have a problem with idiots. I just have a problem working with them.

Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.     


People push you to your limits, but when you finally explodes and fight back.You're The Mean One..

If I were a bird, you'd be the first person I'd sh*t on.

Its amazing how many times Ive signed on to Facebook chat & have instantly signed off upon noticing someone online.

 Annoying person status


While on Facebook, I realized that I don't hate Facebook..I hate people.

Some people's Facebook activity makes me want to defriend them in real life.

 Those annoying people who make Facebook statuses every 10 minutes...

Making a good Facebook status and then the next day you see it on someone else's page.

 Some people just need to change their status updates to, Needs attention.

The annoying moment when your friend is a friend with the person you hate.

It's raining outside. I should go update and alert all my friends on Facebook who don't own a window.

No, I didn't stalk you. It was on my news feed. Get over yourself.

I hate when someone wants to ask me a question, I ask them what it is, then they're like nevermind.


I don't understand people that hate their lives enough to criticize the next person's..but not enough to fix their own.

Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it's a brighter day.     



It amuses me how some people are always ready to comment on other people's life when they have more problems. Style up. Clean your mess first.

Don’t invite annoying people into your life, and set ground rules for the ones you inherited.


You must be a math problem because you're annoying and difficult. I don't wanna solve your problems for you.


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Sarcastic facebook statuses that will get likes

Sarcastic facebook statuses that will get likes

You remind me of a software update Whenever I see you I usually think "not now"
You remind me of a software update Whenever I see you I usually think "not now"

When you know a status is about you..
When you know a status is about you..

Complaining is silly.Either act or forget
Complaining is silly.Either act or forget

All I have in this world, is my balls and my word! I don't break them for no one
All I have in this world, is my balls and my word! I don't break them for no one


Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment
Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment


I don't treat people badly. I treat them accordingly
I don't treat people badly. I treat them accordingly

I love it when people insult me. It means I don't have to play nice
I love it when people insult me. It means I don't have to play nice

i say what needs to be said not what you want to hear
I say what needs to be said not what you want to hear

i thoroughly enjoy minding my own business
i thoroughly enjoy minding my own business.

If Stupid could fly you'd be a jet
If Stupid could fly you'd be a jet

if you cant check on me how im doing dont check mey social media to see what im doing
if you cant check on me to see how im doing dont check mey social media to see what im doing

ive got heels higher than your statndards
i've got heels higher than your statndards

Me looking back on my life
Me looking back on my life

my face when people tell me i cant do it
my face when people tell me i cant do it

Sarcasm is the ability to insult stupid people without them realizing
Sarcasm is the ability to insult stupid people without them realizing

There's someone for everyone, and the person for you is a psychiatrist.
There's someone for everyone, and the person for you is a psychiatrist.

They say milk is good for your teeth.You know what else is good for your teeth? Minding your own damn business.
They say milk is good for your teeth.You know what else is good for your teeth? Minding your own damn business.

Watch who you trust because even your teeth bite your tongue every now and then
Watch who you trust because even your teeth bite your tongue every now and then

you dont like me thats a shame ill need a few minutes to recover from tragedy
you dont like me thats a shame ill need a few minutes to recover from tragedy

When people come at you rude as hell not realizing you can reach level 100 of crazy
When people come at you rude as hell not realizing you can reach level 100 of crazy.

when someone tries to hurt your feelings but you dont have any
when someone tries to hurt your feelings but you dont have any



 I hate it when I write a sarcastic Facebook status and someone who doesn’t get it has to comment and ruin it.

Facebook needs a Drama of the day section in my news feed.

 There is a big difference between "friend" and "facebook friend"

 When I see an argument on Facebook I sit there refreshing the page saying "Oh this is going to be good"

 Seeing a status update and wondering if it`s about you, but not having the courage to ask.



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Fake people quotes images

Fake people quotes images

When you write down all the fake people you know
When you write down all the fake people you know

dont tell me what was said about me tell me why were they so comfortable to say it to you
Don't tell me what was said about me..Tell me why were they so comfortable, to say it to you?

Cutting people off is starting to become a hobby whos next
Cutting people off is starting to become a hobby who's next

I don’t regret the things I did wrong. I regret the good things i did For the wrong people
I don’t regret the things I did wrong. I regret the good things i did For the wrong people.

im the type that will hurt you with some truth and wont comfort you with lies
I'm the type that will hurt you with some truth and wont comfort you with lies

LAUGH WITH MANY BUT DONT TRUST ANY
Laugh With Many But Dont Trust Any.

One week they love me next week they hate me both weeks i got paid
One week they love me next week they hate me both weeks i got paid

Watch who you trust even your teeth bite your tongue every now and then
Watch who you trust even your teeth bite your tongue every now and then.

you know the sad thing about betrayal it never comes from an enemy
you know the sad thing about betrayal it never comes from an enemy

The moment when you realize your friend isnt really your friend
The moment when you realize your friend isn't really your friend

Some people aren't really all that they post to be.
Some people aren't really all that they post to be.

One Good thing about being in bad situations it makes picking out the fake friends real easy
One Good thing about being in bad situations it makes picking out the fake friends real easy
It’s funny how sometimes the people you’d take a bullet for are the ones behind the trigger.
It’s funny how sometimes the people you’d take a bullet for are the ones behind the trigger.

It’s not about who is real to your face.its about who stays real behind your back
It’s not about who is real to your face.its about who stays real behind your back

keep your nose out of my business and i will try to keep my foot out of your ass deal
keep your nose out of my business and i will try to keep my foot out of your ass deal

Dont make a fool of yourself being faithful to someone whos playing you
Dont make a fool of yourself being faithful to someone whos playing you

Once someone disrespects me, they no longer exist to me. I don't tolerate bullshit, I just move the hell on
Once someone disrespects me, they no longer exist to me. I don't tolerate bullshit, I just move the hell on.

People who are intimidated by you talk bad about you with hopes that others won't find you appealing.
People who are intimidated by you talk bad about you with hopes that others won't find you appealing.

People will hate you, rate you, shake you, and break you. But how strong you stand is what makes you
People will hate you, rate you, shake you, and break you. But how strong you stand is what makes you.

some times its not the people who change its the mask that falls off
Some times its not the people who change its the mask that falls off.

Sometimes, the people who are thousands of miles away from you, can make you feel better than people right beside you
Sometimes, the people who are thousands of miles away from you, can make you feel better than people right beside you.

theres only one thing keeping me from breaking you in half i dont want two of you arround
There's only one thing keeping me from breaking you in half i dont want two of you arround

To be honest, I'm doing perfectly fine without the people who walked out of my life
To be honest, I'm doing perfectly fine without the people who walked out of my life.


When you learn how much you're worth, you'll stop giving people discounts
When you learn how much you're worth, you'll stop giving people discounts.

Who cares about shit people say that they dont have the balls to say to your face
Who cares about shit people say that they dont have the balls to say to your face

i may look calm but in my head ive punched you in
I may look calm but in my head ive punched you in the face 5 times



I'm a very patient person & i give plenty of second chances but i am not a saint i have my limits
I'm a very patient person & i give plenty of second chances but i am not a saint i have my limits.







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