Sarcastic one liners about life whatsapp status

Sarcastic one liners about life

Sarcastic one liners about life whatsapp status
The trouble with life is there's no background music.

My life, My choices, My mistakes, My lessons, Not your business.

I am currently experiencing life at the speed of 15 wtf’s per hour.

Changing your life is like a diet, most people fail in the first week.

Change the way you speak about yourself and you can change your life.


They say that life is too short, I just wonder who took the measurements.

Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control.

Life is too short to hide your feelings. Don't be afraid to say what you feel.


Your thoughts and your feelings create your life. It will always be that way. Guaranteed..

Wish all your enemies a long life, so they can see you succeed in life.

One seventh of your life is spent on Mondays.

Life is unpredictable, so don't expect much from it.

If life is unfair to everyone, doesn't that make life fair?

Dear Haters, I'm flattered that I'm always a trending topic in your life.

Everything always ends well. If not it's probably not the end.

We never really grow up. We just learn how to act in public.

Single is an opportunity to live life on your own terms and not apologize.


We all get the exact same 365 days. The only difference is what we do with them.


Appreciate how some people don't come out of Atm till they find the meaning of life right there.


You can't change your life. What you can change is Your Approach.

To live today well and to avoid tomorrow's trouble, past should not be forgotten.


Enjoy your life there’s is plenty of time to be dead.


Find someone who will change your life, not your Facebook status.

Never knew being single and alone would take a huge toll on my life.

There is no room for fake people in my life.


Life is way too short for fake cheese, butter, and people.


When the wrong people leave your life, the right things start.

Life's too short to invest time in those who can't find time for you.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

The world is a stage. life is an act. Just a balancing act.

You get one life to live, it's up to you Either you Make It or you Break It.

Do not take life too seriously, you will never get out of it alive.


We were born to be real not perfect in our life.
 
Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent.


Funny sarcastic one liners about Life

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Everything good in life is either illegal or fattening.

We don’t need CCTV camera in our country. Neighbors and relatives are enough.

Life is like a rear view mirror that makes people appear closer than they actually are.

Life is a soup and I’m a freaking fork.

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong.

Life is very difficult when we are true to Everyone..

It is life. It makes us laugh an hour, and it laughs at us another.

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26 Best Loyalty quotes for relationships

loyalty quotes for relationships

Loyalty quotes for relationships
Loyalty is the strongest glue which makes a relationship last for a life time.

Without honesty, loyalty and commitment, saying you love someone, simply means nothing.


I don't need any part time people in my life. You're either with me or you're not..


Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.
-Helen Keller


Even if you push them away, people who truly love you will always choose to stay.


Love grows from stable relationships, shared experience, loyalty, devotion, trust.
-Richard Wright


The whole point of loyalty was not to change but to stick with those who stuck with you


Loyalty does not have a price tag. It is something you earn and work hard for.


Distance does not matter if two hearts are loyal to one another.


Love often wears a mask in order to test loyalty.


One of the worst feelings in the world is having to doubt something you thought was unquestionable.


If you have found Loyalty in him then never let go as Loyalty is a rare quality and it's worth the wait..


Staying with someone that doesn't appreciate you isn't loyalty, it's stupidity.


A real woman knows that a man's respect and loyalty are not an upgrade in a relationship but a requirement.


If you cheat on a girl that's willing to do anything for you, you actually cheated yourself out of true loyalty.


If I'm with you, I'm completely yours. My loyalty will never change..


Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others.
-Wayne Dyer


Don’t mess with someone’s feelings just because you’re unsure of yours.


Without trust, there can be no loyalty and without loyalty, there can be no true growth.
-Fred Reichheld


No relationship is a waste of time. The wrong ones teach you the lessons that prepare you for the right ones.



  Inspiring Loyalty Quotes

Outside of love, no two things are more valued in another person than trust and loyalty.
-Zig Ziglar


In a relationship each person should support each other. They should lift each other up.
-Taylor Swift


Don’t look for someone who will solve all your problems, look for someone who will face them with you.


Love grows from stable relationships, shared experience, loyalty, devotion, trust.
-Richard Wright


Good relationship doesn’t need promise, terms and conditions. It just needs a She who can trust and a He who can be loyal.


When it comes to relationships, remaining faithful is never an option, but a priority. loyalty is everything.

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Sarcastic quotes about work

Sarcastic quotes about work

Sarcastic quotes about work sayimgs status
Team work is important, it helps to put the blame on someone else.


Things I hate about work: 1. Waking up 2. Humans 3. Working.

Life's too short to wake up in a bad mood. I save mine until I get to work.

Nothing ruins a perfectly pleasant day like going to work.

The reward for good work is more work.


My boss didn't know I drank, till one day I came to work sober.

I send pointless emails late at night to impress coworkers.

I'm not the only one that drives to work hoping its a crime scene, am I?

Morning is the time when everyone is jealous of unemployed.

If you have worked and didn’t get anything, it means someone else got it.

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter...   

If Plan A doesn't work, the alphabet has 25 more letters. Keep calm

I’m going to miss having you around to blame for the quality of my work..

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

In every company there is an askhole ..a person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite.

 Funny Work Quotes


I should get an award for how I’ve managed to not punch you in the face every time I see you.

Tell your boss what you really think about him and the truth shall set you free.


is off to work again..why couldn't I have been born rich instead of good looking?

We all have someone at work we make fun of. If you don't, its you.

Work until you bank account looks like a phone number.

What’s it called when your hard work doesn’t pay off?

If you came to work late, you should at least try to leave it earlier.

Don't worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday...

Driving to work would be so much better if I didn't always end up at work.

At work, when you don't know what to do, just walk fast and look worried.

I just counted 33 things at my work that I could k*ll my boss with.:D

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Wonder what Facebook employees do to waste time at work?

I just love waking up in the middle of the night to realize I still have time to sleep before work..
    
When you don’t do it, you’re lazy. When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy.

Taking selfies is a lot of work when you’re not attractive   

I wonder what I did at work before I had and Iphone and Facebook.

Some people pride themselves on their hard work. I pride myself on doing so little and yet keeping my job

Let’s spend countless hours preparing for a meeting that will be delayed, canceled, or misrepresented.

I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back..


Some people work harder at getting the office temperature right than they do at their actual job.

Congratulations on getting promoted to the job you’re already doing.

When I'm really bored at work I like to write "I'm watching you" on the toilet paper a few squares in just to mess with people.

Some people say I'm a dreamer, others say, If you fall asleep at work again you're fired..


I think I may have misunderstood my boss when she told me that she loved seeing me hard at work.

In life, opportunities aren't handed out, they are taken.

My bed wasn't feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

says ..As long as my boss pretends I'm on a good salary, I'll pretend to be working.

An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.

Nothing ruins a Friday more than an understanding that today is Tuesday…

Hates when customers say "I am never going to shop here again!" when they don't get there way, and then you see their dumb asses in the store the next week..


Work is just something I'm doing until I win the lottery.


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Sarcastic quotes about annoying people

Sarcastic quotes about annoying people

Sarcastic quotes about annoying people
The most annoying person is one who annoys even when he is not around.

Silence is golden, especially if you know it's pissing the other person off..

What bothers me is when people don't know when to shut up.


People like you are the reason people like me need medication.

When certain people bring nothing but drama to the table.you know it's time to let them eat by themselves.

If I don't answer my phone the first time you call, calling 5 more times isn't going to make me answer.

Life would be easier if you could mark people as spam...

Once you start to dislike someone. Everything they do begins to annoy you.


Person who complains about others being annoying is just as annoying.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

No I don’t need anger management. You need to stop pissing me off.

I'm sorry for telling them that you're stupid. I didn't know it was a secret.

There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you’re busy interrupting.

I have no patience or time for people who wear their insecurities on their sleeves like badges of honor.

I like most people as long as they're not behind a steering wheel or a keyboard.

Once you learn how to close your mouth, maybe you can work on those legs.


Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention Morons.

That awkward moment when people think theyre funny but they are just annoying.

You can hate me all you want, but you don't have the right to talk Bad about me.

It's awfully funny how the ones with the most to say know the least.

Saying something funny and then someone says it louder and gets all the credit.

People become 10x more annoying when you're listening to music and they are talking..


That annoying person who texts you again if you don't reply within 18 seconds.


People who change the channel every single time there's a commercial are more annoying than the commercials.


My favorite kind of coffee is the the kind where no one talks to me while I'm drinking it.

When you see me put my earphones in, it means to stop talking, not to start.

I hate when I’m wearing headphones and someone constantly tries to talk to me.


Be thankful for all the difficult people in your life, for they have shown you exactly who you do not want to be.

Everyone has a friend who doesn’t get the hint when it’s time to go home.

I don't have a problem with those who don't like me. I have the problem with those that pretend they do.

Dont worry about me or what I do. This is my life not yours.


I don't have a problem with idiots. I just have a problem working with them.

Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.     


People push you to your limits, but when you finally explodes and fight back.You're The Mean One..

If I were a bird, you'd be the first person I'd sh*t on.

Its amazing how many times Ive signed on to Facebook chat & have instantly signed off upon noticing someone online.

 Annoying person status


While on Facebook, I realized that I don't hate Facebook..I hate people.

Some people's Facebook activity makes me want to defriend them in real life.

 Those annoying people who make Facebook statuses every 10 minutes...

Making a good Facebook status and then the next day you see it on someone else's page.

 Some people just need to change their status updates to, Needs attention.

The annoying moment when your friend is a friend with the person you hate.

It's raining outside. I should go update and alert all my friends on Facebook who don't own a window.

No, I didn't stalk you. It was on my news feed. Get over yourself.

I hate when someone wants to ask me a question, I ask them what it is, then they're like nevermind.


I don't understand people that hate their lives enough to criticize the next person's..but not enough to fix their own.

Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it's a brighter day.     



It amuses me how some people are always ready to comment on other people's life when they have more problems. Style up. Clean your mess first.

Don’t invite annoying people into your life, and set ground rules for the ones you inherited.


You must be a math problem because you're annoying and difficult. I don't wanna solve your problems for you.


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Sarcastic facebook statuses that will get likes

Sarcastic facebook statuses that will get likes

You remind me of a software update Whenever I see you I usually think "not now"
You remind me of a software update Whenever I see you I usually think "not now"

When you know a status is about you..
When you know a status is about you..

Complaining is silly.Either act or forget
Complaining is silly.Either act or forget

All I have in this world, is my balls and my word! I don't break them for no one
All I have in this world, is my balls and my word! I don't break them for no one


Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment
Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment


I don't treat people badly. I treat them accordingly
I don't treat people badly. I treat them accordingly

I love it when people insult me. It means I don't have to play nice
I love it when people insult me. It means I don't have to play nice

i say what needs to be said not what you want to hear
I say what needs to be said not what you want to hear

i thoroughly enjoy minding my own business
i thoroughly enjoy minding my own business.

If Stupid could fly you'd be a jet
If Stupid could fly you'd be a jet

if you cant check on me how im doing dont check mey social media to see what im doing
if you cant check on me to see how im doing dont check mey social media to see what im doing

ive got heels higher than your statndards
i've got heels higher than your statndards

Me looking back on my life
Me looking back on my life

my face when people tell me i cant do it
my face when people tell me i cant do it

Sarcasm is the ability to insult stupid people without them realizing
Sarcasm is the ability to insult stupid people without them realizing

There's someone for everyone, and the person for you is a psychiatrist.
There's someone for everyone, and the person for you is a psychiatrist.

They say milk is good for your teeth.You know what else is good for your teeth? Minding your own damn business.
They say milk is good for your teeth.You know what else is good for your teeth? Minding your own damn business.

Watch who you trust because even your teeth bite your tongue every now and then
Watch who you trust because even your teeth bite your tongue every now and then

you dont like me thats a shame ill need a few minutes to recover from tragedy
you dont like me thats a shame ill need a few minutes to recover from tragedy

When people come at you rude as hell not realizing you can reach level 100 of crazy
When people come at you rude as hell not realizing you can reach level 100 of crazy.

when someone tries to hurt your feelings but you dont have any
when someone tries to hurt your feelings but you dont have any



 I hate it when I write a sarcastic Facebook status and someone who doesn’t get it has to comment and ruin it.

Facebook needs a Drama of the day section in my news feed.

 There is a big difference between "friend" and "facebook friend"

 When I see an argument on Facebook I sit there refreshing the page saying "Oh this is going to be good"

 Seeing a status update and wondering if it`s about you, but not having the courage to ask.



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Fake people quotes images

Fake people quotes images

When you write down all the fake people you know
When you write down all the fake people you know

dont tell me what was said about me tell me why were they so comfortable to say it to you
Don't tell me what was said about me..Tell me why were they so comfortable, to say it to you?

Cutting people off is starting to become a hobby whos next
Cutting people off is starting to become a hobby who's next

I don’t regret the things I did wrong. I regret the good things i did For the wrong people
I don’t regret the things I did wrong. I regret the good things i did For the wrong people.

im the type that will hurt you with some truth and wont comfort you with lies
I'm the type that will hurt you with some truth and wont comfort you with lies

LAUGH WITH MANY BUT DONT TRUST ANY
Laugh With Many But Dont Trust Any.

One week they love me next week they hate me both weeks i got paid
One week they love me next week they hate me both weeks i got paid

Watch who you trust even your teeth bite your tongue every now and then
Watch who you trust even your teeth bite your tongue every now and then.

you know the sad thing about betrayal it never comes from an enemy
you know the sad thing about betrayal it never comes from an enemy

The moment when you realize your friend isnt really your friend
The moment when you realize your friend isn't really your friend

Some people aren't really all that they post to be.
Some people aren't really all that they post to be.

One Good thing about being in bad situations it makes picking out the fake friends real easy
One Good thing about being in bad situations it makes picking out the fake friends real easy
It’s funny how sometimes the people you’d take a bullet for are the ones behind the trigger.
It’s funny how sometimes the people you’d take a bullet for are the ones behind the trigger.

It’s not about who is real to your face.its about who stays real behind your back
It’s not about who is real to your face.its about who stays real behind your back

keep your nose out of my business and i will try to keep my foot out of your ass deal
keep your nose out of my business and i will try to keep my foot out of your ass deal

Dont make a fool of yourself being faithful to someone whos playing you
Dont make a fool of yourself being faithful to someone whos playing you

Once someone disrespects me, they no longer exist to me. I don't tolerate bullshit, I just move the hell on
Once someone disrespects me, they no longer exist to me. I don't tolerate bullshit, I just move the hell on.

People who are intimidated by you talk bad about you with hopes that others won't find you appealing.
People who are intimidated by you talk bad about you with hopes that others won't find you appealing.

People will hate you, rate you, shake you, and break you. But how strong you stand is what makes you
People will hate you, rate you, shake you, and break you. But how strong you stand is what makes you.

some times its not the people who change its the mask that falls off
Some times its not the people who change its the mask that falls off.

Sometimes, the people who are thousands of miles away from you, can make you feel better than people right beside you
Sometimes, the people who are thousands of miles away from you, can make you feel better than people right beside you.

theres only one thing keeping me from breaking you in half i dont want two of you arround
There's only one thing keeping me from breaking you in half i dont want two of you arround

To be honest, I'm doing perfectly fine without the people who walked out of my life
To be honest, I'm doing perfectly fine without the people who walked out of my life.


When you learn how much you're worth, you'll stop giving people discounts
When you learn how much you're worth, you'll stop giving people discounts.

Who cares about shit people say that they dont have the balls to say to your face
Who cares about shit people say that they dont have the balls to say to your face

i may look calm but in my head ive punched you in
I may look calm but in my head ive punched you in the face 5 times



I'm a very patient person & i give plenty of second chances but i am not a saint i have my limits
I'm a very patient person & i give plenty of second chances but i am not a saint i have my limits.







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